Can't bring myself to light this fuse

Christmas Wishlist shall be posted tomorrow, hehe. Oh, I missed Blogger. Been blogging in Livejournal for quite sometime already :)

I'm gonna buy the Motorola hot pink for myself this Christmas :) Well, that is if I've got money left. Hahahahah. But I looove that phone and the Motorola Slvr Red as well. Rarrrrr!

I was soo grumpy when I got to skuul this morning, I don't know why though. Maybe I was craving for something (hmmm). And my seatmate was super irritating. I just wanted to like rip her head off. Hahahaha. And she told I was ultimately being rude to her. Hahahahahaha. OH well.

Took lots and lots of pics last night while watching the World Music Awards 2006 hosted by Lindsay Lohan (who still ever rocks); Love the "Irreplaceable" performance of Beyonce (god, I love her) and Paris Hilton was hoooot :)

Everybody still loves Michael Jackson although his performance last night was awful. Real awful, man. He didn't even sing properly, he just greeted his fans. Haha. Michael freaks :P But yeah, he's quite adorable naman talaga :) Love love THRILLER talaga.

Already have the songs from the Rockstar Supernova Album, thank you Toppet for the site :) I think they're gonna have a gig here cos I saw it in the newspaper eh. Well, while the woman from the bus was browsing through it. I want to watch sana. Burrf.

That's all! Missed the blogger people :)



iRock ♥
i'd like to think so..

XXX: I plan to keep this layout for a loooong looong time :) Swear to swear :P

Worried as hell.

I don't know why you have done it again. Sure, you were scared but cutting your wrist is not the way out. And in whatever angle you look at it, you still are coward.

But then again, you should have not been scared of them. Screw them, you know? Don't let them bring you down. Don't let them take over you. And don't ever hurt yourself anymore. Please.

I am very much worried, dear. It's like the only thing you could think of in order for you to solve your problems is to cut you wrist but it's not even helping you at all. Infact, it just make things worst. If you don't face your fear, you might keep on doing it over and over again.

Take care of yourself, *sigh*.

Leona to win!

We're currently watching X Factor and I soooo want Leona to win talaga. She's a fantastic singer - super pretty and she definitely has the X FACTOR :) I absolutely am a fan. :) Oh, I wish for her to win talaga. Eh si Ashley kasi na crush ko was eliminated 2 weeks ago.

Anthony's kyuut din from the band Eton Road. He looks gayish but adorable though.

I admire Mylene Klass. Half Filipino and she's a star here :)

Photo sharing.

Dutzy and the doggie


Skates.

Dutzy, Pop

Batangas 2004


My charming brother - JOSH

Dutzy, Terence


Dutzy




W/ Diane

Trish, Krystal, Dutzy


Christmas 2005


Trish, Kim, Dutzy

C O O K I E L O V E

I loooooove reading Gossip Girl :) Still waiting for the 5th, 7th, 8th book to arrive. Argggh. Can't wait. Sobrang one sitting lang talaga. Got to finally read Veronika Decides to Die and the rest of the series of Shopaholic (this book makes me laugh, got teary-eyed din sa last 2 books of the series, Awww) Yes, 8 books in just 5 days. Talk about being a nerdy slash bookworm but it felt great working out my imagination and be carried away with the books I'm reading.

Veronika decides to die is to die for. Haha. Teaches readers on how to live one's life. Very inspiring. And also proves that SUICIDE isn't the answer to everything. Everyone has his/her own MADNESS. Love Love Paulo Coelho. Didn't finish the By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept before though and my book is now with Bestfriend. Oh oh oh well. Going to borrow from the Library na lang :)

Need to prepare my Christmas wishlist later :P

You are my madness.

Rollercoaster ride.

I just got home from school and I'm pretty tired. Plus, it was raining pa and the weather's real cold although I love cold weather naman kaso I was really shivering. I left my phone which didn't really bother me that much because I know that no one would text me. And yes, I was right. Haha. Oh well.

Oh, and I love my class :) I'm loving Accounting more and more. When I start answering the questions, I just couldn't stop. And I get kind of irritated (well, not really that much) when Maaza disturbs me. Hahaha. Oh, I love her. She's hilarious. I'm becoming more and more nerdy huh? Guess, I just want to be serious with this course. It was my first choice ever anyway. Eversince, I was a kid I really want to be an accountant and have my own office and stuff :) So yeah.

Our Newcastle trip was cancelled. Badtrip. I won't be able to see Andrei anymore for
they would be leaving the country this December to go and live sa States na. It sucks, bigtime. It's his birthday pa naman. He won't be able to play with Josh anymore. Awww. Tsss.

Anyway, things with us haven't really been going pretty much well and I've got problems on my own din so bigtime depressed talaga. But I'm getting there. We're getting there. You saying that you love me somehow makes me feel better so it gives me hope that we can still be well, better than okay. We need to talk. Pretty badly.

My head aches. Arrgh.

Drink 'till you drop.

I've been miserable for the past few weeks. As in sobra talaga. Kakaiba ito. My problems are all piling up na and I can't seem to solve any of them. I'm too stressed out. I need a drink. I need a break. I'm f*cking desperate already, man.

But at least Mae Ann and some friends make me feel better somehow. Pero I still feel sooo alone and all. Jeez, lagi na lang akong mukhang pathetic. I hate it. Oh I need to take this all out na. Or else I'm just gonna explode pretty badly. I can't do this all on my own because I know that I'm not that strong enough. I need someone. I need someone. I need you but I choose not to talk to you about it because I know that you can't help me either. And we've got problems on our own din. And it seems that I just can't simply talk to you; patuloy tuloy ka ng napapalayo eh.

I am lost. So lost.

I need to keep myself busy. Good thing I have school tomorrow. Absurd as it may sound, I seriously love going to school already. I love my Accounting course. I love (well not really that kind of love haha) my classmates although some of them are like older than me. I'm opening myself to them I just don't stay in the corner anymore, I socialize na and hindi na loner. They make me laugh although I don't get some of them and some are weird. Pero kaya nga napapatawa nila ako eh :P Basta, they're plain funny lang talaga. Kakaaliw because I have like super old na classmates. Hahahaha. But they're fun to be with parin :)

I want to meet more and more and more people and not just be a super bum here at home. I NEED A CHANGE. *sighs* But it's not going to be that easy.

Just have to stay positive. Sobrang ang negative thinker ko lang talaga. As in, grabe.

Anyway, I don't know why some people make things hard for themselves. Happiness is knocking on their doors na nga but they ignore and make their life miserable. Hay, go grab it. Take a chance. You'll never know, things might be different than what you have expected. You're afraid of getting hurt? Fine, I understand that but that's just part of life rather than spend all your life thinking of the what could have been(s) and should have been(s). You don't know how much I envy you. You get the chance to be happy tapos iniignore mo lang.

Done.

Exhausted byotch.

You know you love me

Want to share some pictures :


Diane, Dutzy

Weirdow

Kim, Dutzy


Diane, Trish, Dutzy

Josh, Tito Noli, Dutzy

Madame Tussaude :)

Clown Freaks (Suzi, Dutzy, Jasper)

With Mcdo Bird (Rain, Ate Fhe, Suzi) Sayang Tina didn't join in kasi. Jolog.

Trish, Josh, Dutzy lasing :)


Sleepover days :)

Bus rides

Terence, Diane, Dutzy

Unlikely to be a model.

Love Notes pt. 1

Sometimes, we ask ourselves why love leaves us at times when we have given so much of ourselves that there is only little left for us to start all over with. A lot of us have built dreams with people we hoped would be with us forever only to wake up to reality that there is nothing permanent in this world. Love comes and it goes. People share their lives with us and then they leave us. Life is a constant cycle of finding and losing, of making and breaking, of dying and living again.

Let us always remember that in life, there are no mistakes, only lessons learned. In loving, there should be no regrets, only appreciation for the joy it brought us. There is a time when life stops when love ends. But, we don't have to stay in one place forever. Our lives should move on even when everything else around us makes us feel that it shouldn't. For there can only be happiness when we stop living in the past. -Joe D' Mango

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY CHYE! :)

She bares it all.

Instead of answering Ate Patty's and Karla's tag, I just decided to share some things about me. Well, some of them may really be weird. So yeah, just bear with THE Dutzy :)

My first real nickname was Queenjoy which was given to me by my godmother. It's real weird actually because it doesn't have any connection with my real name.

People used to call me Dorots but then Mr. Testa, my HE teacher started calling me Dots so yeah, Dutzy was derived from there.

I'm a bookworm. Instead of having Barbies and the like, I have had books. What a geek :) When I'm really into a book, I won't more or less sleep without finishing it.

I always tell what I feel towards the one I like. As in always without even thinking that they might not feel the same way towards me. Maybe some of them found me too forward.

I'm trying sooo hard to lessen my pride.

I'm always in denial. I never easily get to accept realities. Parang laging late reaction. Like when I left the Philippines a year ago, I didn't crywhen I bid my cousins and my special someones goodbye although of course I felt sad, then when we were like in the middle of nowhere it just hit me like hell, my heart was stabbed with so much pain & I couldn't stop crying.

I hate being called emo although I really am emo. Well, you can figure that out with my posts. Jeez, Drama Queen. But there is nothing wrong with that. I guess.

I make palaman spaghetti in bread. Seriously it tastes so damn good.

I eat Clovers cheese with Strawberry Ice cream.

My bestfriend and I used to eat crushed grahams, milk with sugar. And I miss it.

I am a scandalous person in a funny way. No, I don't make scenes just to get noticed it just kind of happen naturally, embarassing actually but I just laugh it off afterwards. Ehem, with my oh so weird and loud laugh.

I've got curly hair (hence, the YM id:curly_verymuch) but I've straightened it. Although, I don't quite understand how my hair got curly when I've had straight hair when I was like 6-7 years old.

Olib, my Bonzai was really the one who introduced me to blogging when I was in 3rd year and my first home was Blogdrive but my layout was crappy and I didn't have any clue with HTMLs so yeah, I stopped. Just resumed when I got here in London and yeah, the bbblogger. :)

Just so you all know, I'm very much inlove with Carlo Aquino. He's my ideal man. Haha! Guitarist, dancer, singer, great actor, and very handsome indeed. Oh, I so want to meet him.

I had like the biggest and most gruesome handwriting in grade school but now it's kind of weird because it just became sooo small. And I hate writing in script.

I've never used blue pen unless black pens are not available.

I love koreanovelas. Well, I just loved it now and it's all because of Neslly. She updates me with the coolest shows. She's like the geekiest koreanoveler. Huh? Whatever.

I listen almost to every genre of music.

I don't sleep without any blankets on although the weather's very hot.

Whenever I'm depressed, I eat and eat and eat.

Being a cashier was my first dream job:P

Loves: Spongebob & Dora the Explorer.

Doesn't forgive and forget easily. I don't know, I just find it real hard. Soooobra.

Simple things make me happy. Yes, I am a very shallow person. I tend to laugh at the corniest ever jokes.

Was happy go lucky. Still happy go lucky and will forever be a happy go lucky.

You don't want to talk to me cause I'm boring. Haha!

A rebel during my highschool days, thus break the rules as often as possible. We had stupid rules, swear. I got suspended during my 3rd year for I changed my friend's answers. Little did they know that everybody was doing the same thing. Brought cellphone ALWAYS. As in ALWAYS. Haha. Oh once, we had this film showing at the AVR and of course it was dark then someone texted me and my phone was in my pocket then it kind of lit up and all my friends were covering it. Haha.

Was a grade conscious and now she doesn't really care anymore.

I want to live in either New zealand or Australia. I don't seriously know why, i just find those places interesting. Or maybe een in Prague, Barcelona :) But never ever in Paris. That place bores the hell out of me although I haven't been there yet. Oh well, I just know :)

I want to have a house which is exactly the same as the Lake house. That kind and nothing else mooore.

I want to be an interior designer/chef/photographer

I daydream, daydream, and daydream.

I will soon design my room with an outerspacey look. Full of stars and moon :)

So those are SOME rubbish facts about. See how bored I was.

I'm afraid

that

it

might

never

be

the

same

again..

A lie

Need a break ='/

[Edit]

I wasn't just feeling oh so well, so I kind of need a break but I guess I can't abandon my blog just like that.

[/Edit]

H.P, go figure!

We're weird.

You and I both.

Just plain weird.

Haha, I love you HP. Ikaw lang ang HP :P

Pero yeah, may kasalanan ka pa sakin. Hahahahahaha!

Happy happy happy! =)

I love love the fireworks. Jeez, ang ganda soooooobbrraaaa. Nakakagaan pa ng loob. Nanonood kami sa may terrace kos we weren't able to go sa park. It's much nicer pa naman kapag andon like last yar. Hmmmpffff.

Gonna answer the tag tomorrow :) Thanks Karla and Patty.

Thank you, Lord

... 'COZ ARRA'S DOING OKAY NA :)

and

Thank you Neslly & especially you, Annie (for having a blood type O hehe)

Shuck, scary talaga ang Dengue. Buti na lang talaga. Buti na lang :) Mabait talaga si Lord.

Gusto kong tumakas sa lahat lahat ng nakapaligid sakin. Gusto kong mawala ng parang bula.