Life is pretty absurd at times; that's WHY...

There are times when I can't get hold of myself anymore because of too much problems, too much thinking and then depression and paranoia just come next.

But I never ever thought of comitting suicide.

Well yeah, one time when I was in 3rd year highschool but it wasn't that serious though. I just kind of got in some trouble at school and I didn't have anyone to talk to and I felt that I've failed a lot of people especially myself. I planned to jump off our terrace which wasn't even that high. And it makes me laugh thinking about it right now.

Problems really make a person crazy.

So yeah, maybe I would be lying if I have had never considered suicide as an option ever. But that was just one time. I can't imagine myself slitting my wrists; I wouldn't be able to take hurting myself.

Yes, I understand those people who do it but find it really absurd though for they aren't solving their problems they just infact make it worst. You won't feel better after slitting your wrists, drinking some pills or whatever, you're putting your life at risk as well as those people who love you. Then again, I can't blame them for people have different ways of handling their problems.

And apparently, suicide for them is the only easy way out. They are the people that I consider as cowards.

I'm not mocking them or anything, I'm just saying my opinion.

And because maybe, MAYBE, at one point in my life, I might consider it not just an option.

Scary na.

I promised myself that I won't be thinking too much about things anymore. Well, I guess I broke that promise again.

It is my first time to be in a relationship hence first time to fall in love. (Yea, I know sobrang infatuations lang talaga ung mga before) And I guess the reason why I'm feeling so sad and blue right now is because I'm just too afraid to get my heart broken. I know, I know na it's part of loving and hindi na maiiwasan 'yan pero siguro kasi baka di ko kayanin. *Sabay kanta ng the first cut is the deepest* Haha! Oo, mahal namin ang isa't isa. Oo, gusto ko siya na talaga pero we can't tell parin. We can't predict the future & unexpected things might happen along the way. Kahit pa gano ako mag-isip sa mga gusto kong mangyari hindi parin natin alam. If we really are not meant to be together, then hindi talaga. I guess, I'm just being open to things, sa mga posibleng bagay. Kaya siguro ganito ako kasi I want stop day dreaming about our fairytale-like future kasi scary na eh and I kind of need to prepare lang.

Shit, I hate myself for thinkin' this way talaga, parang I'm putting an end to our relationship na. Hay, but I don't mean it that way naman. I just want to be like you, I just want to act the way you do, yung tipong you don't pressure yourself & you don't think ab0ut what should happen. Dapat talaga nakikinig ako sayo eh.

I love you. So much. My love for you grows every minute of everyday. I told myself that I shouldn't love you too much, na huwag masyadong maging attached, and that I should hold back my love for you but apparently I just don't know how I'd do that when you always are soo sweet, when you always show how deeply you are in love with me & when you always make me feel how lucky I am to be part of your life and have an amazing person like you.

Oh, you'd just be too hard to let go.

foursome

Mae Ann, Tina, Lyra: I'm soo lucky for having you guys! Love looove loooove you to bits :) Conference lagi.

and yea, we are the foursome. haha, jolog.

I want to hang out with you guys na. Play soccer and stuff. As iff I know how to but Tina would definitley teach us. Roight, Mae? Lyra has long legs so baka maka-goal pa siya. Hahahaha. Basta, happiness lagi knowing na andyan lang kayo. Drama. Corny. Whatever.

Mae, just wait. Your hardwork might pay off in time :) You'll never know ;)

Lyra, you're kuul. Swear. You're just simply funny.

Tina, whatever :) Haha. Teach me how to play soccer. Goodluck sa pagiging goalkeeper. You'd have the shoes na din :)

Cheers to a loooong lasting friendship!! Mwah!

I know this doesn't concern the readers (well, if I still have any haha) but I guess I just want to like share how amazing my friends are :)

fool's paradise

"So come with me, where dreams are born, and time is never planned. Just think of happy things, and your heart will fly on wings, forever, in Never Never Land!" -Peter Pan

is there such place??

"You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you, Peter Pan. That's where I'll be waiting." -Tinkerbell

wait with me, will you?

nakakasawa na.

Ayoko ng mag-isip, nadedepress lang ako. Yay, pero hello naman diba?

sana lahat na lang ng bagay madali.

I'm gonna try something new. Basta, sana may magbigay sakin. Hahahahaha. Labo :P

Not in the mood for proper update. Kailangan ko ng pampatanggal ng depression.