Scary na.

I promised myself that I won't be thinking too much about things anymore. Well, I guess I broke that promise again.

It is my first time to be in a relationship hence first time to fall in love. (Yea, I know sobrang infatuations lang talaga ung mga before) And I guess the reason why I'm feeling so sad and blue right now is because I'm just too afraid to get my heart broken. I know, I know na it's part of loving and hindi na maiiwasan 'yan pero siguro kasi baka di ko kayanin. *Sabay kanta ng the first cut is the deepest* Haha! Oo, mahal namin ang isa't isa. Oo, gusto ko siya na talaga pero we can't tell parin. We can't predict the future & unexpected things might happen along the way. Kahit pa gano ako mag-isip sa mga gusto kong mangyari hindi parin natin alam. If we really are not meant to be together, then hindi talaga. I guess, I'm just being open to things, sa mga posibleng bagay. Kaya siguro ganito ako kasi I want stop day dreaming about our fairytale-like future kasi scary na eh and I kind of need to prepare lang.

Shit, I hate myself for thinkin' this way talaga, parang I'm putting an end to our relationship na. Hay, but I don't mean it that way naman. I just want to be like you, I just want to act the way you do, yung tipong you don't pressure yourself & you don't think ab0ut what should happen. Dapat talaga nakikinig ako sayo eh.

I love you. So much. My love for you grows every minute of everyday. I told myself that I shouldn't love you too much, na huwag masyadong maging attached, and that I should hold back my love for you but apparently I just don't know how I'd do that when you always are soo sweet, when you always show how deeply you are in love with me & when you always make me feel how lucky I am to be part of your life and have an amazing person like you.

Oh, you'd just be too hard to let go.