I don't know how I'd start this post so I just decided to get lines from the song which I had dedicated to my one and only love weeks ago. I had no idea that this was a Panday song, just knew it after reading Danlen's post.
Pangako natin sa Maykapal na tayo lamang habang buhay.
Ipaglalaban ko ang ating pag-ibig, maghintay ka lamang ako'y dadating.
Pagkat sa isang taong mahal mo ng buong puso, lahat ay gagawin.. Makita kang muli.
Puso'y nagdurusa, nangungulila
Inisip kapag nagiisa
Inaalala mga sandali ng tayo ay magkapiling
Ikaw ang gabay sa aking twina
Ang aking ilaw sa gabing mapanglaw
Tanging ikaw..
I was moved by Danlen's post and was touched by his comment in my last post. It also made me think that GIVING UP would have been the MOST STUPIDEST (yes, very stupid indeed) thing to do in my whole life. We've come along this far. We've been here in this LDR for about a year or so. We had solved a lot of problems and surpassed a lot of trials within that year and then I would just suddenly throw that away for nothing? I admit that I am furious at you at times when you don't even text me just to say good morning, or when you are about to go to school already; you sometimes just bothered to make "paramdam" when you already got home. I kind of feel tuloy that you don't even think of me anymore, you know "paranoia" strikes in especially with this kind of situation. But it all feels better after awhile with you explaining that you are super busy with school which I understand naman because you already are in your FOURTH year and with you saying that it's only I you love. Whenever I am alone, before I go to sleep and even when I'm doing something I always reminisce the times when we hangout, how we make lambing and make each other laugh' how you tease me though you know that I'm so pikon then "susuyuin" mo lang ako afterwards and how we just simply spend our quality time together. Whenever you look at me straight into my eyes and say the magic words, I can feel how sincere you are with me and that I'm not just a fling, that you would do everything for us to last forever and I was sooo right, you do your best for us to stay together though you know that it's gonna be hard and painful. When I left the Phlippines a year ago, I didn't actually know where we stand, we had a lot of problems, we were sooo afraid of what might happen to us after my departure, and we had just been together for 3 months then; so little time. The thought of you wanting to let me go devastated me a lot, you didn't want to take the risk, you thought that you are cursed for loving so hard because everytime you feel this way towards another person they just leave you all alone. I didn't know how to make you feel better, and what to say for things to be alright' I literally didn't know what to do. Then you just suddenly told me that we can do this, that as long as we love each other no one would give up EVER, and that we would be together SOON and won't ever be apart; You promised then I feared not anymore knowing that you'd just be there when I come back and that you won't be involved with other girls. You still are fulfilling that promise. I believe that you can. And I'm promising you that same thing as well. I'm just yours. I will be faithful. You are my only love.:)
We are on our whatever-month-it-is already (hehe). There are still sleepless, crying nights because I miss you a lot and I feel sad that I can't even hug you, kiss you and just simply be there for you. Sometimes it's because of the guilt I feel everytime I think how stupid I was to not spend that much time with you when I was still back home. If I just knew that I was going (hay). I wasn't even able to say goodbye properly, we weren't able to see each other before I left. THAT still haunts me at times. I FEEL REAL GUILTY. Kaya promise pagbalik ko, BABAWI talaga ako.
LDR sure is hard. You can't control things. Everything is limited. Everything is out of reach. But as long as the love is there, everything would still be perfect & MAGICAL. You would still feel complete somehow. You'd still get to laugh so hard like there's no more tomorrow, get kilig everytime you think of "those" moments and get teary-eyed by thinking how much you love and care for each other. HOW MUCH he loves you. HOW MUCH he cares for you. This is a stepping stone to FOREVER. Believe me.
If WE can get pass this, there's not a problem that can't be solved. I love you.
DANLEN, kaya mo 'yan.
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